Caregiver

Andy with his morning coffee on Patio #2

I’m happy to announce that Andy is home from the hospital! We still have a long road of recovery ahead of us but its nice to be together again. In 29 years of marriage, we have never been apart for more than three ½ weeks, when I was in graduate school. So now we start the next chapter in his recovery…he continues to heal, and I take on the role of Caregiver. Our youngest daughter Bella is moving out in the next few weeks to help as Caregiver. Good thing too because I’m not sure I’m Caregiver material! Growing up it wasn’t tough love, more like I grew up in the 70’s and 80’s and suck it up Buttercup was more the mentality. Mental health challenges, what’s that? Feeling under the weather, a little bit of tea with milk, toast with a wee bit of cinnamon and sugar or perhaps some Jello if your tummy had the rumbles’…otherwise tough it out was the way to go. Or perhaps I was just shielded from the serious stuff? I really don’t know.

Andy’s situation will not be cured with Jello or tea or toast. As he continues to heal and his brain rewires itself, he will gain more independence and eventually walk and manage many of the things I’m realizing we, or at least I, take for granted. For example, getting out of bed, getting dressed, going to the bathroom and bathing on your own. Regarding the household, we use to share the duties around the house and now all of them fall on me. That is a tough pill to swallow as I always prided myself on the fact that we both cleaned the house, we both took care of the property etc… The key word here is ‘pride’. I’m learning the way of humility and being humble. I am thankful that Andy is home and alive, I will absolutely take on the tasks that speak to housekeeping and property management if it allows my Andy to heal and gain back what he has lost.

That said, it is still hard, I’m always worried I’m failing him or pushing him too hard. By nature, I’m a driven person and truly believe one should “never give up… never surrender” as Winston Churchill would say! But my drive can be overwhelming, both for myself as well as Andy.  He is the one that keeps me in check!  I’ve always been the one that needed him, now he needs me, that responsibility is scary!

That said, I’m determined to do right by him and although flawed for sure, I will strive to be the best Caregiver that one can be!